Broken Hearts and Third Chances

I can’t bear to change the About Me part of my website because I can’t face the truth; Snuggle Chops and Disco Biscuit are gone.

 

 

2020 dealt a lot of shitty blows. I know that compared to many, I am living the dream over here, but seriously – both of my dogs? The universe, God, whatever, whoever … needed them both? I don’t. I can’t. I’m not changing that paragraph about them, not now, but also maybe – not ever.

Cooper (aka Disco Biscuit) – named for the way he’d dance for treats – developed a weird cough. I ignored it for a week because he had allergies in the past, and it was spring. The cough got worse. Then, Molly (aka Snuggle Chops) started mildly coughing too. Cooper had all sorts of tests done – we used all of our vacation savings to try to get to the bottom of what was going on. He had tissue from his lung removed and analyzed, blood tests, you name it. At first, the vet thought it was something environmental because both of the dogs were exhibiting symptoms. She though they may have inhaled some fungus, spores, or mold and that Cooper had developed pneumonia. The vet put Cooper on lots of medication, but nothing worked.

Turns out Cooper had advanced lung cancer. He died with his head in my lap within a week or so of the first vet visit.

Meanwhile, Molly was still coughing. The vet tried some of the same medication that Copper had taken- we hoped that Molly was only suffering from an environmental irritant. I kept a journal of the number of coughs per hour, desperately hoping that I could prove she was improving. Unfortunately, her cough got worse. Molly had a tumor removed a year prior, and it had metastasized in her lungs.

She gave us three more snuggle filled months. When she stopped eating and her belly filled with fluid, we knew it was time.

Cooper and Molly were both rescues. I hope they know how much their lives mattered, how much the memory of them still matters. How deeply they touched my heart. I will never get over losing them.

 

Cooper was a stray from down South. I assume, given his predilection for laziness and fear of loud noises, he was absolutely garbage at hunting and was probably left on the side of the road somewhere. I’m not sure he ever lived in a house before he came home with us. He hid in the breezeway and  low-growled at us for the first month. He also tried to run away a bunch of times. I had to get a GPS tracker for his collar. He was so scared- he literally didn’t know all we wanted was to pamper him and love him. Cooper wasn’t the swiftest, but he figured it out eventually, and became the sweetest, calmest, friendliest dog ever. He LOVED kids, like LOVED them. He crawled up onto my step-daughter’s pregnant belly and rested his head there when she visited. He was so docile, he became an ambassador at his day care for the new students. The staff used sweet Cooper to make the new guys feel welcome and comfortable. I was so proud of his ceaseless kindness.

Molly lived the first 7 years of her life on a chain. She was meant to be a hunting dog- but the hunting never happened. She sat day after day, staring out at her big property, unable to enjoy any of it the way a beagle should. I lobbied her owners to take her, but they wouldn’t let me. Full disclosure, her owners were my parents. I believe my Dad loved her in his own way, and that’s why he wouldn’t agree to let me take her. Then, when my Dad got sick, and his time was coming to an end- my mother asked him again on my behalf and he finally agreed. I rushed to their house to get her. It is one of the best moments of my life – Beagle Independence Day. Unlike Cooper, it took Molly zero minutes to embrace home life. After years of me fretting and wishing she could be mine, it was as if she always was.

 

I like to think that Molly came to us so that Cooper could have a comforting friend in his time of need. he had been such a comforting presence to others, he deserved the same. And, I think Molly had to leave us so that they could be together, wherever that place is.

I declared I’d never to get another dog, but spent all my time looking at shelter websites.

The hardest person to convince was my husband. He has the biggest heart of anyone I know, and that big heart was crushed to smithereens when Molly and Cooper passed. But, that big heart also has a huge capacity for love, and after awhile he was looking at the shelter sites too. One day Benji popped up and I heard him exclaim from the other room, “Holy shit, look at this dog.” I immediately got online and wrote an impassioned plea to the shelter director along with a very detailed application about just how amazing Benji’s life would be with us. The next morning she called. They had over 100 applications for Benji, but she was going to give him to us. PAYS TO BE A WRITER!

 

 

I like to tell Benji about Cooper and Molly. I think they would have been friends. I’ll add Benji to my website for sure, but I think it’s okay if I leave Molly and Cooper up there too.

Snuggle your Chops and Your Biscuits for me and never take them for granted,

XOXO Mariah