Seven reasons I decided to self-publish

Not long ago, I was deep in the query trenches. They don’t call it the trenches for nothing. Trenches are not pleasant; in fact, people die in trenches. For me, it was also where my passion, creativity, and ambition went to die.

One day last week, a switch flipped. I had received two more demoralizing rejections from literary agents I had been jazzed about. At the beginning of the query process, I was able to ride the wave of rejection, pretty unfazed, feeling kind of “above it all,” if I’m honest. But, as I spent more and more time on my excel spreadsheet— color coding my hopeful agent list from yellow (optimistic) to dark grey (no thanks, loser) chips started to appear in my veneer.

The problem that I was not aware of it was my ASSumption that to be… successful, seen, and legitimate, an author needs to be traditionally published. Somewhere in my subpar public-school education, the inside cover of all those books I didn’t read, with their publishing house imprint, had cemented themselves in my brain as the RIGHT way to go about it.

But what if— like other things in life I had made assumptions about— I was wrong and there was another way to do it? What if I didn’t have to feel as grey inside as my color coding?

Because that’s what I was feeling, GREY. I didn’t want to write. Didn’t want to talk about my book with anyone (cue me running away anytime someone asked, “When’s that book going to be published?”). I didn’t want to participate on social media. I felt like a fraud. A deluded fraud.

When I tell you the SECOND I decided to entertain the idea of self-publishing, ALL of that changed. I am not exaggerating. I watched a few fantastically informative YouTube videos, and I was sold. I posted my intention on social media, and the response from indie authors was warm, welcoming, and immediate. Side Note: I was not getting that kind of feedback or engagement from traditionally published authors.

That’s when the floodgates opened. I filled three pages with reasons why becoming an indie author made sense to me. I’m will share them here, because I cannot believe I almost let my dream of holding a book I wrote in my hands, wither and die. I can’t believe I let other people and an industry that sets you up to fail suck every ounce of joy out of writing to the point that I was ready to retire my laptop. Oh, hell no. If you are struggling in the trenches, this may help you too!

Number One: I am tired of sitting around twiddling my thumbs. I hate this long process of begging (because, let’s face it, that’s what querying is) and waiting. Even if an agent loves my book and wants to represent it, it could be a big old chunk of time before they find a publisher. Then, you can flip your calendar from today to many, many, many months, if not years before your book is on a shelf. I was just so over the snail’s pace of traditional publishing.

Number Two: I spent A LOT of time writing my book. I am confident that it is ready for print. It took me years to write. Then, I worked with a Manuscript Developer, Developmental Editor, and Manuscript Editor to ensure it was submission ready. My book is as tight and polished as it will ever be. I have hacked out words until my fingers and eyeballs have bled. I have no more blood to give to my book.

Number Three: Okay, this one is a biggie. I FUNDAMENTALLY do not believe in the concept of a homogenized bookshelf. Agents and publishers insist that you prove to them that other books exist in this world (written within the last few years, mind you) that are JUST LIKE YOURS. They have to be similar and successful. You can’t come up with handful of book titles that prove your book will sell? Then, there’s the door. I understand this concept from a business perspective. But from a creative standpoint? It’s an originality killer. It’s like inbreeding; pretty soon the gene pool is going to get really shallow, and we all know what happens then.

Number Four: Gambling on the success of your book with traditional publishing feels like Vegas odds. The house wins. You lose. Sure, there’s that stroke of luck when all the stars align, but it’s a million to one for the most part. I’m not a gambler. I like to be in control of my money. I also want the responsibility for the success of my book to rest squarely on my shoulders. I’d bet on me.

Number Five: I’m willing to put in the work. I’m open to sharing online and promoting my book. I like social media. Learning about self-publishing a challenge, but an enjoyable one. It’s like a take-home test where you can use your notes. If you pay attention and class and take good notes, you will ace the test. I know this is a puzzle I can solve. It’s like those ever-changing stairs at Hogwarts. Hang around in that universe enough, and you learn the magic words.

Number Six: I know I just said I like sharing on social media, but I was also having a hard time with it before I decided to go indie. I always felt like I was posting the wrong thing because I always felt like I was trying to please someone else or be something that I was not. I immediately felt authentic the moment I decided to self-publish, and that’s when the ideas for posts started flowing.

Number Seven: Speaking of flowing. I went for a walk yesterday, and I was struck by the creativity goddess. As I walked along, trying hard not to get run over, I sketched out the ENTIRE sequel to my finished book. It came to me in a rush. All of it. Start to finish. I KNOW it’s because I unblocked my writing muse when I unshackled myself from traditional publishing.

Nothing makes me happier than writing, except maybe my dog, Benji. Sorry to my children, my husband, and everyone else. Writing fills my soul. I feel most myself sitting at my table with my laptop, in my ratty robe and mismatched socks. Bedhead on fleek. If it’s raining outside, even better. The weight of traditional publishing was killing my flow, poisoning my core. I’m so glad I decided to switch and go indie. Indie author… even sounds cooler. Don’t you think?

I wish you the best of luck in your writing journey, no matter the path you take! Just choose the one that is right for you and you will be amazing.

XOXO

Mariah